বুধবার, ১৭ জানুয়ারী, ২০১৮

First Love?

That, was my First Love!!!! 

"The Pearl in the Oyster shell"


                                                                          ::1::
Studying in a boy's school makes you immune from so many things. Fighting is the best example for it. I have learned a mixed fighting techniques from my class mates. Kung Fu, jujutsu, boxing, kick boxing, Bollywood style and more. Pavel was my first trainer in such a mash up fighting techniques. I can proclaim myself as Mithun da part 2 with the skills I have learned.

The second most important thing that you get immune to is the falling and failing. Breaking the glass, breaking a chair, falling from the wall, slipping on the wet mud, everything related to falling get registered to your brain. Failure to do homework or project. Even failure in terminal exams is less depressing. This is only because you get your companion right in the class. In boys school there is no one to impress that you will have to be good at so many things.

Third one is the most precious one. You get immune to every mocking or demoralizing words thrown by your teachers. On the contrary you get appreciated if you survive the beating and crack a joke returning to your desk. Making fun of your teachers and mimicking them is also an extracurricular activities in school. One day, due to heavy traffic, I came late to our first class of physics. Teacher didn't let me get in the class room. Instead he told me to take a loan from the bank and buy an autorickshaw for myself. Then coming to school won't be a problem. Even I can take some passengers on the way that will fetch me money.

It hurts a lot when you get such words from your teacher. Classmates were laughing at this. A sudden rush of thought evoked in my mind and I told my teacher,

"Sir, without PAN card the bank is not going to give me any loan. How to get a Pan card before the age of 18years?"

This made the whole classroom blast in laugh followed by 3 slaps from my teacher on my cheek.

Literally I can tell, 'Those were the best days of my life."


                                                                             ::2::
Change of situation is a part of life. Nothing moves linear. As stated, my life changed too. During my secondary exam preparation, I took admission in different coaching centers. One of them was in Selimpur, for the English language. That was the first time I have to be in the class with girls of my age. My previous experience with love was different. I was a kid then. Now I know emotional attachments are less important at this age. Boys who are good looking with wearing branded dresses are in the top. Then come the boys who are good in studies. No matter how they look or what they wear. The average lads are never appreciated by girls as they have no impact in the classroom. But they can manage a relationship a.k.a "taken for granted". Doing home works, providing notes, accompanying her on the way to home(spending in travel expenses), giving birthday gifts and so on can give a boy momentary togetherness with a girl. The remaining students are them, who are neither good looking nor good at studies.

In the world everything cannot be summed up perfectly. Like the previous chart more or less the situation is described perfectly. But there are some differences. I have seen some of the girls are very reluctant or away from the scene. They were the girls with an attitude. No perfect, good looking, studious or average boy can impress them, as they were from a different world. Either they are the most beautiful girls in the class or the best in studies. In my early days in such classes I was a little conservative about myself. Pretty much concerned with my studies, that my mistakes won't make any girl to laugh at me. I was trying to improve myself in studies, in my appearance and choosing my words. This is the age boys used to try new experiences. Smoking and taking alcohol is the primary motives. I kept myself away from these cause I did not get that much money from my parents.

Well how perfect you want to remain, life will never let you be. That day came without any prior notice. I met a girl, seemed to be perfect, for me. Being concerned with my studies I was improving good. I did manage to achieve a rank in the upper limits. Teachers were happy with me. Asking me questions in the middle of the class. Sometimes helping me to prepare my notes with great advises. I was about to reach the summit when a distraction appeared in the veil of a woman. Her name was Debopriya. One of the most good looking girls in our class and the girl with an attitude.

14th November 2002

Our English teacher declared a surprise test with written exam and viva. The topics she gave were well prepared by me. The worst part was, viva will be conducted in front of the class not in private. Written exam was over and the viva started. It was going in a clockwise rotation. And as I was sitting just next to my teacher so, I was the first one to be bullied. Our teacher Ms. Dutta knew I am prepared with the topic, so she turned the questions in such a manner that it appeared to be out of the syllabus. I don't know how I managed to interpret the questions and answered them all. She declared my score 10 on 10 with some good adjectives for me. Confidence was boiling within my soul and my heart was pumping fast. The excitement was so much that I was seeking for a room to shout 'eeeeeyyeesssss'. As it was not possible I content myself in going through a grammar book.

The viva was proceeding in its own way. Shyama was sitting three students next to me and he also managed a 10 on 10. Like a bucket of water poured on the fire of my excitement. I have a competitor. Grammar book was no more important to me. I was following other students giving the viva. It was a class of 17 students and on the 13th position, there was Debopriya. She was in her school dress of white shirt and skirt. She was looking exhausted and depressed. Her hairs were also messy may be due to the hassle of journey. She was reading her notebook like trying to memorize the important things in the last minute. One by one her turn came. Ms. Dutta was referring a book while asking the questions. So there was an interval of eye contact. And that was the first time I felt the same thrill like my previous experience. Talking by the language of eyes.

Debopriya passed the first question and moved to the next. It was quite easy but why she missed it, I don't know. May be this was written to initiate a new story between she and I. On the third question our eyes met. It was the interval when Ms. Dutta was going through her book. The staring lasted for few seconds and then she did the gesture with her brows. It was instantaneous that I understood her words and moved my lips. She read it! She can read my lips and got the answer. Within a 40 to 50 seconds of eye contact I was able to transfer the required answer. She gave the answer and Ms. Dutta was happy. This continued for next couple of questions and then she got 7 out of 10. Ms. Dutta turned to the next student and started the viva. Now Debopriya moved her lips that I can read. She thanked me with a smile. I am in love again. My first love after that first love. Life is unpredictable.



                                                                     ::3::
Gradually our eye contact relationship got promoted to a Hi-Hello relation. Next we promoted our relation to a 1 minute or 2 minutes conversation. It was our time to appear in the first difficult hurdle of life, Madyamik examination. Discussion of different topics from our syllabus increased our duration of chatting. That lead to an exchange of notes relationship. To make it more serious we shared  our contact numbers also. Mobile phones were not so popular then. Land phone was the only option to initiate a conversation. That was a hurdle too. To reach the desired one you have to give an introduction of yourself to her parents or other members of home who will receive the phone first. Then a waiting period for her to come and take the phone. Same thing happened for her also. I was not a person to sit beside the telephone every time. They have quoted a sentence like, 'necessity is the mother of invention'. We have planned a solution for this too. During the day we have selected specific times when both of us will be near by the phone and will try to receive first. In case of emergency we will tolerate the others.

Now I can realize the importance of a telephone. Her "Hello!" from the other side seems to be the best Hello than others. There was a hoax came out of no where when Mr. Graham Bell invented Telephone. Every one used to think that Hello was the name of Graham Bell's girl friend. Though Mr. Bell has never used Hello in any conversation. Hello was originated from the word Hola. His girl friend's name was Mabel, and he used to call her with this invention to keep in touch. Later on 1877 they got married and lived a life happily ever after.

Happily ever after?

Telephones are the most gruesome invention that ruins all the relationship by making it more personal in the initial phase. Subject matters become less important when conversation starts with daily news.

"Did you have dinner?", "Are you going to sleep now?" "How was your day?" "What was in the menu?" "Have you seen this movie?" "Do you watch Saas Vi Kabhi Bahu thi?" "I am the biggest fan of KBC, did you know the answer of this question?"

Well, the sportsman was now sitting in front of the television with his family to watch Saas vi Kabhi Bahu thi and KBC. Photosynthesis became less important than the love story of Mihir and Tulsi. A girl can make you do anything to be a part in her life. Following the serial for 3 weeks gave me a confidence to prolong the discussion with her. I was happy! really?

Movies are always a chapter in every love story. Songs and scenes are the best things to discuss and share thoughts. Then came the movie "Sathiya" with those awesome songs. It became a great part of our discussion then. First time in my life I went to an audio store, bought a cassette of Saathiya movie songs and gift it to Debopriya.

I was in love. Certainly I was.

Our acquaintance grew further to a friendship. I was lost in her thoughts. Being concerned with my studies I have advanced my position from the second last bench to the first bench. Now to be with her, both of us decided to take the last bench. We came closer, distance from study grew further. Back in 1994 a movie came with the best song depicting my situation. One day while on call I started humming that song, "Badi mushkil hai, khoya mera dil hai...koi usse dhund ke layena!" Debopriya recognized the song at once and asked me to sing it. Surveying the room I took the courage and sang it in a whispering tone. All of a sudden my caller started singing a song that I have never heard.

"Yeh silsila hai pyar ka... yeh chalta rehega..."

That was mind blowing. Her voice was great. My heart was pounding like a rabbit. "Is this love? maine na jana!"

                                                                 ::4::
The uninvited event

Friendship was now turning to a sweet teenage love story. We used to chat in front of the center after classes were over. Sometimes while in class if the lecture is boring, we used to chat with pen and paper. That was a thrill for us to never get caught. The last pages of my note books were full of short messages. Some love signs or smiles were also there. Those things were fun. The leisure time between the end of class and her father coming to get her was our own luxury hours. School life in such a competitive atmosphere was hell. Morning six to evening nine was our time to get prepared. It includes morning coaching to attending school then going to home, freshen up and again rush to another coaching. Everyday was invested in such a routine. In this schedule meeting someone and talking about personal life was a luxury. Her father was very punctual. It was never more than 5 minutes that her father arrived with his Bullet after the class is over. Day by day those five minutes were getting precious for me.

Life is never a smooth road to travel. Hurdles are like part of it. One day, after the class was over, Debopriya was looking for some food. Her school bus came late that day so she couldn't get the chance to freshen up or have something to eat. Just opposite to the main road there was a fast food center, hardly 2 minutes walk from our coaching center. Both of us went to there to have some rolls or chowmin. It took us less than 10 minutes to get back in front of our coaching. By the time we have arrived there, Debopriya's father was bursting like a volcano and our coaching manager was shivering like hell. The chaos has invited other students and their parents along with the passers by. It was really a humiliating situation. Debopriya was trembling with fear. Her father saw us coming and rushed to Debopriya. He was about to land a slap on her face if I hadn't interrupted.

"Uncle! She was hungry."

"So! Are you going to feed my daughter for the rest of her life?"

I didn't know the answer for such a question. His worry is relevant but such an exasperation was too much. I kept my mouth shut. Debopriya was crying for such an embarrassment.

"What is your name?" Her father vexed as if he was going to put me behind the burs.

"Abir" I composed myself and told my name looking at his eyes. Somewhere I have read a quote that says "Head up, stay strong, fake a smile, move on". I was not bothered about his anger. His worries, yes definitely I do respect that. But thinking about something bad could have happen, creating a mess and embarrassing her daughter in front of all these students was unnecessary.

Her father barked again,

"Listen to me carefully. She is my daughter. She knows I will be here in a few minutes. She managed her hunger till now from the evening, but she couldn't hold that for 5 minutes more? Never try to be a lawyer of my daughter."

His logic was correct. Yes of course! She could have wait for a while and then go to that food center with her father. It's true! His logic was strong. I have to admit and surrender. All of my concern lead to nothing but wastage of money in a pair of egg rolls that became tasteless for such an event. What a waste of money and time!

Every eyes around me were gazing like I am a kidnapper, caught red handed. The manager of our coaching center suddenly got his strength back and started yelling at me. He will send a complaint letter to my home and all those staffs were there. These didn't bothered me at all. But a pair of eyes made me embarrassed. Ms. Dutta, our English teacher was standing at the entrance and looking at me. Her face showed clearly, how I have lost my impression.

I am a kidnapper..... am I?



                                                                       ::5::

Ms. Dutta used to tell us that; 'when something bad happens, you have three choices. you can either let it define you, destroy you or strengthen you.' The recovery period took longer. Debopriya was not coming to the classes anymore. I was worried. May be such embarrassment lead her to depression. That is the reason she is avoiding the classes. Or else she could have committed suicide. Is it possible? I was worried. The manager didn't sent any letter to my home but I have confessed to my parents. When I do something wrong, the relation between my father and me turns into a relation between a cop and a thief. His belt is the most sharpened sword that I have encountered all my childhood. It slashed through my flesh like a burning steel. He took my stationary and threw them in the garbage can. I was going to be a rickshaw puller, and that was final. He will stop paying for my studies and kick me out of the house.

I took a girl outside of the campus. I am a criminal.

Boys are used to such situations. It was a two days matter in our family. But a underground rage was flowing. But the impact was less heavy. That night my mother collected the books and copies from the garbage can and kept them on my study table. I was trying to sleep but highlights from the events were flashing up. Sleep seems to be far away. Though I was exhausted with all of this, though my muscles were aching like hell due to the belt wounds. I couldn't sleep.

Maa came next to my bed and turned on the light. "Koi dekhi."

I ignored her first. But then I heard her breath. She was crying. I got up and took off my shirt. The wounds were fresh. She cleaned them with savlon and smeared some antiseptic ointment on it. It hurts but not more than the badge of criminal.

"What is her name?"

"Debopriya"

"Baba is really upset with you."

"I know maa, but."

"It's your secondary exam Abir. We belong to a very middle class family. We don't have such luxury you know. We have only one asset in life, that is education. That is the only thing we can sell and survive. This is your growing time beta. You better be more concerned with studies."

Maa was right. We are middle class. The most average community of people who can never afford any luxury. We are here to accept, accommodate, and adapt with everything odd and survive. No one from this community should ever try to afford something new, something off the beat. That night I promised my mother that I won't do anything strange like this. Next day morning I went to my father and apologized for this mishap.

Later on neither Debopriya called me, nor I have seen her in the coaching. After few months I became adapted to the life without her, as I am a middle class, and started my preparations for the secondary examination. Later through one of our common friends I got the news of Debopriya. Ms. Dutta talked to her father and changed the batch, so that we cannot meet. Life can literally show you different avenues which you have never imagined. But, I was happy. At least Debopriya is fine.



                                                                        ::6::
After six months.

I kept my promise by securing a star marks in my secondary examination. I can take Science stream in my 10+2. All my teachers and relatives were happy. My parents were happy too. Ms. Dutta used to tell us about a goal. According to her, a student must have a goal in life which is to make their parents smile and proud. I don't know how my parents feel about me. But smile on their faces really mean a lot.

Our new classes started and I took admission in new coaching centers. My English language teacher remains same. After that event Ms. Dutta was really upset with me. But gradually with my performances I reclaimed my lost position and was able to catch her attention again. Life is like a river. Stagnation in it will lead to nothing productive but a destructive flood. Ms. Dutta was like the river. In her 10+2 batches, arts students were less in number. To accommodate or balance it she divided our science group batch into two. 15 students each. Only four of her students, including me, was transferred to the Arts batch. The other three classmates were new to me. They were from different schools. One of them came out his secondary exam with flying colors. A fire of competition was ignited on the very day of introduction.

10th May 2003

Kallol, Hrishikesh and I became good friends in this new batch. Kallol took commerce and Hrishikes took arts. I was less interested about others and never wanted to get introduced. In the arts batch girls were in majority and were always to claim the first three benches in the class. Hrisikesh used to call them as Hirimba (One of the mythical characters). They were like always in a hurry to learn anything and everything without considering the implication of it. Marks were the only concern for them. And I have noticed a typical envious nature in between them. They don't even like each other. Everyone was talking about another behind their back. A very strange nature.

The class used to commence at 7pm in the evening. I used to come here from my Biology class, which was from 5pm. Though the class was from 7, usually it started from 7:30pm as everyone was coming from different classes. That day my biology class was off. After school I came back home and went to play cricket in our club. By 6:30 I set off for my class. No one arrived at this hour I heard Ms. Dutta was talking to someone. As I approached the door the voice sounded familiar. I stood by the door for couple of minutes to rule out the possibilities. It was her. I was sure it's her voice, Debopriya.

I took no chance and came outside the campus. My heart was pumping again. It was me who has created all those events. As a friend I did nothing but made something sure can demean her. She was humiliated in front of the pedestrians, her batch mates, parents. It will be rude if I go in the class now.

"Hello Brother!" I was thinking about leaving when Hrisikesh turned up all of a sudden and asked me about my early arrival. I told him the reason and asked him to go with me to the near by tea stall. There after having tea, I gave him the full account of my story with Debopriya. And now she is here. I told him that I was thinking about changing the batch. Hrishikesh slapped me hard on my back and used some slang words to describe my cowardliness. With a lot of hesitation I went in the classroom.

She gave a smile to me! It was like a dream. I thought she was angry with me, but I was wrong.

I took my usual seat in the class and as scheduled the class started on 7:30. Debopriya took arts in her 10+2 and after the exams she went for a family tour last month. Now I understand why she didn't join the classes. The whole class appeared to be like an auditorium. The din audiences are busy as usual. I can hear only few phrases or laughs. A voice was like coming from far away. I was like an existing non-existent in the class room. My mind was floating aloft. Something funny was going on here but I am not the part of it. Then I heard my name. Ms. Dutta was calling my name. All of my thoughts rushed back into the presence and I gained my consciousness.

"Yes ma'am?"

"What does Solitary reaper means?"

It was like I have never heard anything like that. I did not even knew the topic today. I don't know how I was looking that day, but everyone found something unusual in me. The whole class was like looking at me. Hrisikesh pulled the sleeves of my shirt to show the open pages of our poetry book.

"Sorry ma'am.. I don't know."

Ms. Dutta gave a smile. It was like a cunning smile. Was it?

"No one knows yet. This is our topic today. I know distractions are overpowering now on your thoughts. But you have all night to think about it. right?"

She knows it. She caught me red handed. I don't know how many of my batch mates understood her indications but everyone laughed. While sitting back I saw her face. Debopriya was looking at me and smiling.


                                                               ::7::

Classes continued with its own pace. But I was avoiding Debopriya, I don't know why. The matter was old now. No one seems to care in here. But my mind was always guiding me to run away. Every second week of a month we used to have a test. Ms. Dutta used to write the questions on the board and we had to write the answers on A4 sheets. On the second week of June we had our test. Today she did something unusual. She held us back in the classroom and started checking the answer sheets then. One by one she was calling our names and gave us the papers. Those who got the answer sheets were asked to go out and discuss, or they can leave for home.

One by one everyone left even Hrishikesh and Anjan too. They will wait outside for me and then we will go to the tea stall together as planned. The remaining two were us. Debopriya and me.

"Abir I know how you've gone through the after effects of that day. But don't embrace the past and let your present to ruin. She's your friend right? Then why are you avoiding her?"

I was spellbound. How does she came to know about our relationship? Only observation can give such precision? I was dumbstruck. Not even a single word came out. Debopriya was sitting head down. I came to her bench and sat next to her.

"What is the problem Abir? Why are you avoiding her?"

"Ma'am you know what happened last year. It was my fault that I took her to the fast food shop. It was my fault that I......" I couldn't finish my words as Debopriya was looking at me. Her eyes were wet.

"It was my fault Abir. I am sorry. Please forgive me. You don't have to be as you were before. But don't just ignore me. Please!"

This was too much. Ms. Dutta is a friendly teacher to us but, these discussions are very.... I don't have the word. But to make her smile I turned the topic.

"What to do ma'am? I am not Shahrukh Khan, but her father is just like Amrish Puri. If I talk to her Mr. Puri is going to beat me."

Both of them laughed out loud. Debopriya punched me on my shoulders. Ms. Dutta did a great job that day. My conscience was clear and the load got reduced. Ms. Dutta gave me my answer sheet and asked me to go out.

"Ma'am please let her go first. If Mr. Puri meets me outside, again he is going to change her batch."

"You!!..." Debopriya punched me again and all of us laughed.


                                                                  ::8::
It can never be your plan that will work out when the master mind is sitting above. Debopriya and I were in a friendship again, keeping all the regrets aside. It was a new beginning for us. We started to share notes, talk about our families, my cricket, her singing, our new subjects and many more. Sometimes when I came late in class, Ms. Dutta asked me to sit next to Debopriya. She was like a shadow keeping us hidden from the world. Her support was necessary to reconsider our misunderstandings and reestablish a new and fresh relationship. We were great full to our teacher. But one fine day Vidyut turned up.

We knew that one of the students from science batch has asked Ms. Dutta to change his batch. He joined our batch and we became good friends. Vidyut was from Ms. Dutta's old batches. After leaving my batch Debopriya was in that batch. Vidyut was popular here as most of the students were his old fellow. He was also good at studies and very good in lying. He was very good in flirting and mocking. He even used to flirt with Ms. Dutta whenever he got chances. He was good looking and handsome. A nice french cut beard gave him the perfect looks. But one thing that both of us had common in nature was drinking tea and having sweets. Actually there was another thing in common that I came to know later.

Our friendship grew and four of us became buddy's. He used to come at our club and join us in the cricket. He was not a good player himself but a great fan. He had a vast knowledge about cricket and he can recall any player from every country. Passion for cricket made us close and we became brothers. We were the four musketeers in our classroom. Debopriya and I maintained our relationship well and it was now going into our future planning. She wanted to be a journalist and my ambition was to be a cardio vascular surgeon. Dreams were bigger and promises were intense. We took a vow that after reaching our goals we will disclose our relationship to our individual families. And then we will proceed further. Everything was going perfect but too much sweet makes it sour.

One morning Vidyut called me at home and asked me to stay back home before going to the class. It was nothing new. All of my friends used to come at my home. I agreed and went to school. When I came back, Vidyut was already there waiting for me. After having tea he asked me to go to the roof. He has some important matters to share.

"What's the matter bro.? Why are you acting like this?"

"Do you love Debopriya?"

"What nonsense!"

"Tell me the truth!" His voice was cracking. I felt that a harsh truth is about to open here.

"It's not of your concern brother. Be cool."

"It's important Abir. Are you in love?"

"I don't know. We are good friends now and may be in future we will give this relationship a maturity."

"Please don't" He was like begging for it.

"What the..."

"Last year before our secondary examination Debopriya came to our batch. She was the most attractive girl in our class. In the beginning she used to avoid me. But later we became friends."

"So?" I was in doubt how this story is going to end.

"Our friendship grew. I was in love with her. I used to give her presents and gifts. I love her Abir. Please leave her alone."

The pressure in my head increased, I felt tightening of my chest and palpitation. I can feel my blood pressure was rising. I was about to burst in anger. But some inner tranquilizers kept me calm. Debopriya has never mentioned about such things to me. She never mentioned the existence of Vidyut in her life. I need some answers. I told Vidyut that I will let him know my decision after I meet Debopriya personally and discuss the matter.

"No No No! Don't even think about it." Vidyut protested.

"Why?"

"Don't tell her I have given you these informations. Ok! give me a chance. I will prove it to you that we had a relationship from last year."

I was having a headache. This is painful. I can't bear the situation as it suddenly appeared.

That evening Vidyut and I went to the coaching center on time. Students were gathering one by one. Debopriya came at 7:15pm. She bid me hi and I returned it casually with a fake smile. Then Vidyut did his job.

"Did you listened to the Audio CD I gave you."

"What?" Debopriya seemed to be unprepared about that question.

"Are baba! The CD I gave you last year. Can't you remember?"

"Ooh! yes yes... yes I can remember."

My first batsman of trust got bowled out. Vidyut continued.

"Those songs are from my collections. My all time favorites. I have also included the song you sang for me."

"What?" Debopriya became unsettled again.

"You forgot? You sang a song for me and told me this was your favorite?"

"Oh yes!"

She sang a song for Vidyut too? My second batsman of trust got out by hit wicket.

Vidyut took the advantage of my patience and played well with my trust. Debopriya was an idiot that she never brought the topic in our discussion. I was not bothered about it as Vidyut's proofs are irrelevant at this moment. They were not strong enough to bring down my remaining wickets.

One day he came up with an album containing some photographs. They were the last year celebration party images. He has her pictures? Both of them were smiling in those pictures. Another wicket of mine got out by LBw. I don't know what is the future.

Gradually a pseudo distance grew between us. I was maintaining a distance from Vidyut too as his excitement seemed to me like covetous. I started skipping my classes. It was easy for me to blame my biology class but it was a lie. Lying to Ms. Dutta was difficult but she was confident on me. I will never let her down.

The atmosphere in classroom changed mostly because of Vidyut's presence. Hrisikesh understood the problem and asked me one day. I gave him the full story and he promised me to disclose the truth by employing his girlfriend. She can bring the news from last batch. My fourth and fifth batsman was building a partnership to score.

It took two weeks for Hrisikesh to fetch the news from her girlfriend. According to her old batch mates have seen Vidyut and Debopriya together, but was there anything else they cannot tell. My fifth batsman tried a hook shot and got caught out by the keeper. I was going to loose the match. It was upsetting. Skipping my English classes increased and I was visiting there only once in a month.

Hrisikesh and Anjan came to my house one day and heard everything. The advised me to ask Debopriya directly and clear out every doubts. I was planning that too. No players are left now who can score. The only way was to building a partnership. I was preparing myself to present my doubts in a descent manner so that Debopriya doesn't get hurt. But one day Vidyut came to my house again. He has prepared a special greeting card with a proposal. Vidyut is going to propose Debopriya? This was heavy. I couldn't bear that. I told him about my plans and he protested again.

"Please give me a chance. Please. You just see how she accepts my proposal letters. Please."

I played the bait. I was determined to play with my sixth player and give him a chance. Debopriya is not going to accept those cards decorated with so many love signs. The moment was there. After the class was over, Vidyut went to Debopriya and started the conversation. I was observing from a distance and then the moment came. After five weeks of interval I went to the class. Debopriya may be wanted to meet me. But Vidyut was over riding the situation. Then suddenly he produced the gifts and with a smile Debopriya accepted them. It started to rain in the middle of the game. And then it became clear when she kept the gift in her bag and shook hand with Vidyut. It started to rain cats and dogs and Vidyut won the match in Duckworth Lewis method. And thus the episode of my love story ended but it was my best experience during the adolescence. I never met Ms. Dutta since then. But I miss her. She was my best teacher and guide. I do also miss Debopriya and miss our love story. Because...

That! was my first love!!! (Part 2)
                                                                 






মঙ্গলবার, ১৬ জানুয়ারী, ২০১৮

First love?

That, was my First Love!!!

                                                                               ::1::
17th January, 1997

I was playing cricket with the other kids at our apartment lawn. Arnab, my nextdoor neighbor, was batting and I was the wicketkeeper. A sudden sound of horn clicked my ear drums in a thundering rumble. Arnab was confused too, and missed the ball. A matador was standing by the entrance with loads of furniture. A new member to our apartment has arrived. We cleared the passage way to let the matador get in. Next to it a blue ambassador entered. We were interested about our new neighbor and followed it to the 'C' block, the final block in our apartment.

 Arnab and I lived in the B block. There were four blocks in our apartment. From A1 block Chandu da was in our team. Ujjal da, Piya, Rick, and Santu was from A2 block. Arnab, my brother and me was from B block. "C" block was more or less like ladies block. Awindrila di, Boni di, Tinni di, Monalisa di were the members. But they used to play badminton or antakshari. "C" block was thus a less visited place for us. We had no news of  a new owner is coming today. From a distance we were accounting the family. A new player was required in our team as Ujjal da was going to leave, cause he has madhyamik examination in March. Next month there is a match of cricket with "Oi Para" (the colony just behind our apartment). A new player with good skills maybe a boon to us. 

We were waiting at the corner of B block just behind the Debdaru trees. The northern wind was blowing in a gentle breeze. The ambassador hind door opened, and a gust of descent fragrance filled our lungs to the full. Yes! She is here now. My fille de rêve. She was wearing a white frock with decorated lining. God has taken a lot of time to create her I think. Her eyes were like a deep sea with unfathomable mystery. Her shiny black hair was just tied up with a band. Pink lips decorated with the best smile I have ever seen.

I was lost in my thoughts when Arnab made the comment. 

"She is beautiful yaar!" 

What a joke! I forgot that Arnab was of my age too. Giving a catch at the verge of scoring century is less painful than this comment. To close the discussion there, I went to arrange the wickets again. That evening I have played my best I think. 7 sixes and 10 fours with an individual score of 83 runs for my team. I took 3 wickets including Arnab and won the match with flying colors. I was happy. But for whom I have played such a game, she didn't came out to see. I was in love!! My first love!!
                                                              ________&&&_________

Saraswati puja was the only biggest event in our apartment. Other occasions were also celebrated but those were mostly for elders. After 7pm we were not allowed to the complex lawn as elders will take the community Hall to drink 'Royal Stag' with soda. Some will take the badminton court. Some will take the vacant garages to play Bridge, the card game.

Only Chadu da was allowed in their club to serve pakoda and chips. And sometimes Ujjal da was summoned there to play badminton,as he was the best player to compete. Saraswati puja was the only occasion for us. We were at our teens. Two days break from studying was limitless fun. Moreover we were allowed to be at the lawn till 10pm. Saraswati puja of 1997 will remain in my mind as a golden page of life.

20th January 1997

I was flying a kite on the roof. School was off today. A sudden sense of chill ran through my spine as I felt something odd. Someone was staring at me. Most of the time during Viswakarma puja, due to half yearly exams, I was not allowed to fly kites. This time usually sky remains clear and less crowded with other kites. To fill my doubt when I scrutinized. I saw her again. She was at her roof on C block. There were dolls, utensils from 'ranna bati' kit and many other girly staffs with her. 

"Se prothom prem Amar Neelanjana!!!" 
The song of Nachiketa instantly came in my mind and I hummed the tune with a passionate breathe. Her eyes were fixed at my kite. When our eyes met, due to nervousness may be, she ran away. After a while she came back and called me with the best voice in the world... "Ei suncho!"

"Who! Me?"

"Yes! You Know how to fly a kite?" Her voice was the best instrument God has ever crafted.

"I do... Why?"

"May I try it?"

Oh! Thank you God. I am here to offer my heart to her and she came up with such a minor request? I was happy. Overflowing with joy I asked her to come at our block. Then she can fly my kite as long as she wants.

"Thanks" 
Her smile with those glossy lips produced the best appreciation I have ever received. To impress her, I took my kite up to the ultimate height. She was like trembling with the "latai". It was her first time flying a kite. She was smiling like an angel. My ears started to provide a chiming sound from my heart. She was my first love!! It was almost an hour we were together at the roof. It was like we were at the cloud number 9. The call from her mother broke our exploration with the kite and she ran to her apartment in no time. 

                                                           _______&&&&&______

She was wearing a yellow (faded yellow may be) sari and a light green blouse. Her hair was arranged in a perfect manner relevant with the dress. A little black dot just between her brows were the best addition. We were at the mandap of puja. Last night all of our members were engaged in decorations. Awindrila di and Boni di were the best painters in our group. One started to do crafts with colorful papers and another did the alpana with fabric colors. Elders went to bring the idol from Jadavpur. Arnab was busy in arranging the platforms where the idol will be placed. He was wrapping the desks with colorful papers. Ujjal da and me were busy with the lights and the stage. My dream girl didn't appeared at this gathering. 

Around 8:30pm elders came back with the idol. Groceries and vegetables were in the department of Chadu da. With rolls of cheering we took the idol and brought it to our decorated mandap. Now it was time to wrap up the whole project. Final lighting, alpana, and crafts ar now to be placed in order. I was tying up a light at the main entrance when I saw her. She and her father was coming on a Rickshaw. They were carrying an idol and groceries with them. The first strike of doubt hit me well and the shock from the bare wire added some more. I was using the semi broken chair of our door keeper. The electric volts gave me a thrust and the chair also gave up my weight. I ended up landing on the floor thudding. The shock was minor but it was necessary.

They were new to our apartment complex. The initial hesitation to meet with others, is relevant. And we were so busy in our own thoughts that almost forgot to invite them. It was at the beginning when we kids used to go door to door and invite everyone. Now as this was our 5th year puja, invitation was not that much important to us. I was lying flat on the lawn with the shock and its after effects. Ujjal da pulled me up and composing myself I ran to Awindrila di. Though Tinni di was the senior most in the crowd, but Awindrila di was our fuhrer. She was going to appear in her 10+2 exam next year. 

After my appeal, she considered it as an urgency. Summoning the group members she trained us with her unique way of invitation. Awindrila di was expert in such invitations as she was a representative in her school team, and used to go to other schools for inviting. In my school I was in the department of writing the invitation cards. A boring job to sit in the library and write on hand made invitation cards. In our group Arnab was painted with fevicol, and mica dust. I was the most disoriented and messed up lad with chunks of cobweb and dust in my hairs and shirt. Whatever may be the situation she must be invited to this puja. 

Our team reached their flat on time. Awindrila di was the leader so she rang the bell. The name plate on the door was etched with Mr. Pulak Sinha. I hoped if her name was etched there too. The door clicked open and Mr. Pulak Sinha came out,

"Yes?"

"Uncle! We are here to invite you and your family. May we come in?"


Her name was Priyanka. The invitation formalities went well. She was helping her mother in the kitchen. Our presence brought them to the drawing room. My dream girl was there. This is her house. Our eyes met and both of us shared a smile. We were just going to start a conversation with eye contact when suddenly Awindrila di asked her name. 

"Priyanka" the sweetest voice echoed in my rib cage longer than expected and pierced my heart through and through. I was in love. Surely was.

"But we are doing puja at home." Priyanka's mother interrupted.

"That's not an issue aunty. She can join us after your puja is over. And aunty please don't prepare lunch tomorrow. There will be khichuri, sabzi, and sweets as lunch. The whole apartment join this celebration. And next day before the immersion, we have 'dadhikarma' in the morning and special lunch. In the afternoon we play different games at the mandap premises. In the evening there will be performances. All of us will be doing something on stage. Priyanka can join us too in the dance."

Awindrila di was amazing. She can capture anyone's attention towards a simple event. Her dramatical presentation about the puja was mind-blowing. I was feeling attracted too and then realized I am already a part of it.

"She can join us for the Anjali...." Rini and Piya interrupted.

"We are having puja at our home sweetheart... Priyanka will join you later." Aunty defied in her sweetest words. It was time to show up. I added to the conversation

"Well, she can join us during the Anjali after your puja is over? Your own Saraswati will bless you to the full. But in addition our Saraswati can bless you more! Like a free spinner with a pack of Uncle Chips." 

This sudden idea was new to all. But when realized, all of them burst into a laugh. I was lost in her smile. She is the best. And there could be no one beside her. My first love!!

                                                              _____&&&&&___

At around 9am all of us gathered in the mandap. Few of us were there since morning to arrange all things. I was employed in cleaning the utensils and bringing the missed items from the list. Our purohit came around 8am after completing his fixed 'jojman' pujas at homes. Around 9am it was time for Anjali. Rik and my brother Arpan was in the duty to convey the message to everyone. They did well. It took less than 20mins for everyone to gather near the premises.

She was wearing a yellow (faded yellow may be) sari and a light green blouse. The black bindi between her brows was the best addition to her beauty. That's how my wife should be. The weather was descent. Cloudless sky was unrestricted for the sun rays. Everything was glowing with fresh light. But she was different. The kite event was the only reason that made her more comfortable with me. I was already in love with her. So I was blushing, giggling, beaming, whatever adjective is suitable you can place them for me. 

She stood beside me during the Anjali. Both of us took flowers. Whispered the chanting as relayed by our purohit and shared meaningful eye contacts in between. Her presence was so enthralling that I asked maa Saraswati to help me convincing her. Arnab was jealous about such event and invaded our conversation with irrelevant topics. After his repetitive attempts we allowed him in our conversation. He came as a bad omen for me. Priyanka is in an English medium school. I was shattered, finished, broken, disappointed, and whatever adjective suits there.

Being a Bengali medium student, that to a Government one, was really inappropriate to mix with English medium students. Puffs of wind come out of our mouth when chatting starts in English. In our group only Ujjal da and I was from Bengali medium. Arnab knew about my weakness and turned the conversation towards school subjects and in English. Priyanka was two batch Junior than us. Arnab took the conversation in such a way, as if he is the best guide in studies. And Priyanka, my dream girl, my love, my first love was listening to him like Arnab was a prophet and he is giving her the question papers of coming exams.

What a crap! I made an excuse and left the conversation immediately. Plates for lunch was due in the list. Took the money from cashier uncle, Boni Di's father, and went out with my bicycle. May be it's the notion of love. You can feel everything in a special way. You can see every event in a new vision. While buying the required items from Dashakarma I was peering at the couple's. The roads were like crowded with them. Most of them were college students. I was lost in my thoughts imagining Priyanka and me as college students and as couple's. It was dream or what I don't know. As if I have seen her in her yellow sari and green blouse walking by the road. Someone was going with her too. Suddenly the boy with her turned around and I saw Arnab. Shocked as hell I fell from my bicycle.

"You idiot bastard! Are blind or what?" 

Priyanka was scolding me in English. And I was struggling to puff out a word. Then a slap hit my cheek. A powerful one. The dream broke. While riding my bike I have crashed into a stationary auto rickshaw by the road. And the driver was shouting at me. Again a mess! My dream girl is from English medium!! My first love!! Is this going to stay???

                                                             _______&&&&&_______

Composing myself from the mess I packed the items again in order. And then rode back to home. I was expecting Arnab and Priyanka chatting. But Priyanka was no where to be seen. 

Light of Hope!!! My dream girl!....

She didn't came at lunch. Awindrila di told me that she went to her uncle's house to attend the celebration. That's good. Arnab can't take the conversation for now. But in my mind I have decided to take my revenge on the field. I took a bow that now onwards I will never let Arnab score more than 30 if in opponent team. And I will make it sure that on my second over I will take his wicket. First over I will let him score, cause he is my friend. And when in the same team, I will always score more than him. 

Saraswati maa may have heard my wish and blessed me accordingly. The cricket matches in our apartment and 'Oi para' improved my skills in bowling. This lead to my selection in school cricket team. Sports teacher saw a potential player in me and enrolled my name in a good cricket coaching club. 

I have misinterpreted this fortunes as her love effects and got more involved in it. But still there was a distance. She is from English medium and can speak fluent English. 

                                                                   ____&&&&&_____

Post Puja Events:

After the special lunch with Fried rice and chille chicken on the next day of Puja all the residents settled down near the mandap to play housie, a game almost like online lottery. I was crowned with the best luck in the world so since 5 years I was not even able to win more than Rs. 10/-. Usually after 2 or 3 cycles I used to quit. But today was different. Priyanka was with us from morning. We had the Dadhikarma first and then wrote "Om Saraswattoi Namah:" on the bael leaves together. Arnab woke up late today. So it was only Priyanka and me together. No one was interested about us so we have shared a quality time. Even during lunch we sat next to each other. Everything changed during the game. 

At the 3rd round of game I have won only Rs. 5/- from it and lost Rs. 60/-. On the contrary Priyanka was at the top. Beginner's luck!!! She won 3games consecutively with full house and won an amount ten times more than me. I was happy. If we get married then she can win back the Money I have lost in the game. I was about to quit and told Priyanka. I don't know what happened. She gave me a look as if Maa Lakshmi has herself appeared in her and asked me to continue the game. I was saving money for a new cricket bat but instead of great hesitation I pulled it in and with new hope bought tickets. Priyanka gave a smile and asked me to sit beside her. 

Love is pure, love is Devine, love is the best emotion in the whole world. For the first time I won a game with 2 single lines and a full house. Investment returned in double. Now it was time to recover my old loss. Priyanka was beside me. She was helping me to find the numbers on my tickets. On the 5th number call she grabbed my hand in excitement and held it up. 'Fastest five'. The first five called numbers were shining on my ticket. And for the first time she touched my hand. That round went well. She has won a single line and full house. And I have won 2 single lines. By the 6th round of game my loss was recovered with a good amount of profit. I love her. And I was about to tell her. But no cinematic concepts emerged from my cricket field head to convey the message.

After housie we kids went to other place. Adults took the mandap premises for gossip and card games. Girls of our team were planning to play Antakshari and dumb charades. And we boys were planning to conduct a 10 over cricket match with 'Oi para'. It was Priyanka who insisted us to take part in antakshari. Girls can make you do anything. We cancelled the match and took part in the antakshari.

Maa Saraswati has blessed me with the best vocals. Singing was like in my blood running through my veins. To impress Priyanka I took part in the game and was in a team with Arnab and Boni di. My singing was so melodious that those who were learning music felt depression. Boni di was so mad at me that she can choke me to death. But my instant replies with proper songs were asset for the team. It was a tie between our team and Priyanka's. But a difficult letter messed it up. I picked up a correct song but Arnab confused me with the lyrics. And that took the turning point for Priyanka's team. I have cherished my defeat for the first time when I saw her smile. 

                                                          _______&&&&&_____

                                                                             ::2::

6th November, 1998

"Tum paas aye, yun muskuraye... Tum ne na jaane kya, swapne dikhaye.."

The best gift from Bollywood to the lovers came with the wrapping titled as "Kuch kuch hota hai".

It was like a script for every lovers in the world. A little effort to look like Shahrukh Khan was peeping in my mind. I let my hairs grow that I can shape it as SRK's. Priyanka bought a dress like Anjali(Kajol) wearing in the movie. More or less Bollywood movies became a necessity in our life to cherish the relationship. Every day injection of movie sequence was required to fill the heart with unlimited love.

It was like "Are re are yeh Kya hua, koi na yeh Jana....."

I felt my heart as " Dil to pagal hai, Dil deewane hai".

                                                              _____&&&&______

It was Priyanka's Birthday. Her parents were organizing a party to celebrate. Securing a deposit from my pocket money bought a greeting card from Archie's and a set of Pierre Cardin's fountain pen. I was waiting for this evening since I have came to know about her birthday. We all gathered to her house at 6pm and the celebration begun.


After the dinner we all went to the roof.  Priyanka's father has arranged an open theatre for us to watch a movie. A white screen and a projector is the key structure in a movie theater. A hi-fi CD player was also new to me. At night, on the roof we saw the movie "Bicycle thieves". I was overwhelmed by the presentation and acting. But due to my Bengali medium background, I understood nothing. After the movie chocolates were served. I took an eclairs from the jar and stood by the mass, discussing about the film. I felt a little pull on my hand from the back. Priyanka was there just behind me with her charming smile. 

"Well! Thank you for the party Priyanka."

"You didn't like the movie right?"

"I have just seen the movie as I am used to watch Chaplin movies. It was difficult for me to interpret the script. But I liked it."

"Baba bought this CD from Esplanade just for today's event. He didn't realized that such a movie can't be cherished by all. I am sorry."

"Hey! Don't be sorry. I will watch this movie again when I will be good at English."

"I will teach you English! I can help you."

I didn't expected such an offer. This was good, but at the same time it was a little odd for me. If Arnab and others come to know that I am taking English lessons from a junior. They will never leave me without mocking. With a nod I changed the topic to the events of my last birthday party. The last time my birthday party was celebrated on my 10th birthday. Since then there were none. Though I've never felt a need about it. The only best part of it was gifts. But again there is a glitch. You have to throw a party in case you need gifts. Neither it was affordable for my family to celebrate such an occasion, nor I was at all interested in it.

"You are changing the topic!"

"No Priyanka! I will take lessons from you. But promise me. You will keep it as a secret."

She winked and gave a mischievous smile. She came near to me and held my hand firm in her soft palms. Then all of a sudden she rose on her toe and kissed on my right cheek. The first kiss from a girl came all of a sudden. I was in a spellbound state. She winked again and ran away towards the mass.

                                                    _______&&&&______


                                                                     ::3::

My English class at Priyanka coaching center started on a Sunday morning. I was practicing my bowling at the lawn and then she came. I can remember her attire that day. She was wearing a pink color kurta with a green patiwala. A chiffon urni over her shoulders. A kalka like bindi on her forehead and a spec. She was looking like a punjabi kudi.

"Abir! no more practice. Now you better come and study."

That was our plan to initiate the class. She would plan something nice that no one can ever guess that I am going to her for Spoken English classes. The veranda of her flat was the class room. At one side she hung a black board (Kids staff). A mat was placed on the floor. There were Teddy 1, teddy 2, teddy 3, doll 1, barbie 1 and a fat doll sitting. Their names were Jolly, Molly, Polly, Disha, Diya and Priti. Priyanka introduced me with her dolls, my classmates, and started the class.

I must admit her plans were great. Her mother was preparing lunch. She came and saw me in that set up and burst into laugh.

"Now you are the victim of Priya's classroom. Very good! So I can take a leave now. Ha ha!"

Now I get it. This was Priyanka's hobby. She used to arrange such a class and take her mother as a student then. Very well.

"Do you want some drinks beta? Horlicks?"

"Maa! The class is running now. No food or drinks. You should leave now."

I can bet she is going to be a perfect school teacher in her near future. Priyanka's mother apologized to her daughter and left the classroom laughing.

Day 1 in her coaching went well. She has given me a task to increase my vocabulary from the Word books. This continued till the date of disaster.


8th September 1999

Our land lady has sent us a notice to vacant our apartment as she is going to sell it soon. My father did a mistake to try for a Home loan that we can purchase this flat from our land lady. She took our proposal and gave us a month of leverage.

Chaplin stated some where in his book that when fate is against you, no one can stop the mishap. The same day my father got the transfer notice to a different place away from Kolkata. It was difficult for a middle class bong family to solve all such big issues in a smooth pattern. Our destiny was changing. Our land lady became agitated and informed us to leave. I can remember the morning I woke up and saw an unknown person standing near my bed and looking out side the window. I woke up startled and went to our drawing room. The land lady has brought some customers who are going to purchase this flat. My father was sitting at the corner defeated.

I am going to leave. So the plan of being together shattered with just a snap of misfortune. In a hurry my father was unable to search for our new accommodation. Immediately there were no homes for rent near by. So everything turned out to be in a mess. Our furniture was sent to an apartment at tollygaunj. But as there was no room to live or settle we had to leave kolkata and go to our village home.

You plan something and God laughs at it. He is the master planner of this universe. And I was planning here to settle with Priyanka in a Happily ever after life.


                                                     _____&&&&____

6th December 1999

A matador was standing near B block. A family was going to leave this premises after a long 10 years of stay. I saw our very own furniture were on the truck. The door man opened the door wide and the matador left. Next was our turn. A Kali-Pili taxi was standing near by. One by one my family boarded the taxi. We are going to Howrah station. My eyes were searching for the face that I will remember till the last days of my life. Priyanka was nowhere to be seen. She and her family went to Manali for a vacation trip. Our taxi grumbled to life and make its was towards the door. I had no chance to even bid goodbye to Priyanka. A love story got buried there with in the concealed walls of this apartment. My first love, ended there.



                                                       ______&&&_____

6th December 2017

The calendar changed in a fast forward motion and completed my journey from a school boy teenager to an established doctor. But my first love is still as new as then. Standing at the same roof I saw the sun set and cherished those evenings playing in the lawn, flying kites. Memories never get old. I was there with all those buildings same as it was in the past. Renovations have kept its look younger. But for me everything was carrying the same old days.


We can seek our happiness in everything except unsolved problems. The due goodbye was still haunting me. I came here to quench the thirst. To feel those days in a new way in this adult age. The sun set still looks the same as it was before. Pouring my heart with the utmost good memories I reconsidered the facts. Adult mind makes you more rational than emotional. The message of "no hope to see her" was like blinking just before my eyes.

Revisiting every nooks and corners of my oldest residence I came to the lawn. The door keeper was an younger one. No one can recognize me now, though I knew everyone in this flat. Gazing at the flat where we used to live I sighed. Bidding goodbye to Priyanka I moved towards the main entrance. Someone was coming in. Yes! there she is. Blue denim jeans and sea green kurti with a Cathy's leather hand bag. A scurf was wrapped around her neck and she was holding a leather jacket to her left arm. My spoken English teacher,  that sweet little Priyanka is still as beautiful as then. We crossed each other near the gate. She walked past me but could not recognize that bengali medium lad she used to teach. I gasped the final adios to her. The fragrance is still the same one that increased my heart rate then and now. With slow steps I neared to my car and saw the reflection on the glasses. These 18 years not only just changed my course of life but also my appearance.

"Ei suncho!"

Did I heard that correct? Searching for the source of those words i found a couple near the gate. The lady was asking her husband from the balcony.

My car engine revived in agony and the accelerator creaked in the gas chamber to push my thoughts forward. The history was left behind but cars will always give you a chance to look back. My rear view mirrors showed the figure standing at the entrance, looking for something. Blue denim jeans, sea green kurta and the purple hand bag.

That, was my first love!!!!.........