First love?

That, was my First Love!!!

                                                                               ::1::

17th January, 1997

I was playing cricket with the other kids at our apartment lawn. Arnab, my nextdoor neighbor, was batting and I was the wicketkeeper. A sudden sound of horn clicked my ear drums in a thundering rumble. Arnab was confused too, and missed the ball. A matador was standing by the entrance with loads of furniture. A new member to our apartment has arrived. We cleared the passage way to let the matador get in. Next to it a blue ambassador entered. We were interested about our new neighbor and followed it to the 'C' block, the final block in our apartment.

 Arnab and I lived in the B block. There were four blocks in our apartment. From A1 block Chandu da was in our team. Ujjal da, Piya, Rick, and Santu was from A2 block. Arnab, my brother and me was from B block. "C" block was more or less like ladies block. Awindrila di, Boni di, Tinni di, Monalisa di were the members. But they used to play badminton or antakshari. "C" block was thus a less visited place for us. We had no news of  a new owner is coming today. From a distance we were accounting the family. A new player was required in our team as Ujjal da was going to leave, cause he has madhyamik examination in March. Next month there is a match of cricket with "Oi Para" (the colony just behind our apartment). A new player with good skills maybe a boon to us. 

We were waiting at the corner of B block just behind the Debdaru trees. The northern wind was blowing in a gentle breeze. The ambassador hind door opened, and a gust of descent fragrance filled our lungs to the full. Yes! She is here now. My fille de rêve. She was wearing a white frock with decorated lining. God has taken a lot of time to create her I think. Her eyes were like a deep sea with unfathomable mystery. Her shiny black hair was just tied up with a band. Pink lips decorated with the best smile I have ever seen.

I was lost in my thoughts when Arnab made the comment. 

"She is beautiful yaar!" 

What a joke! I forgot that Arnab was of my age too. Giving a catch at the verge of scoring century is less painful than this comment. To close the discussion there, I went to arrange the wickets again. That evening I have played my best I think. 7 sixes and 10 fours with an individual score of 83 runs for my team. I took 3 wickets including Arnab and won the match with flying colors. I was happy. But for whom I have played such a game, she didn't came out to see. I was in love!! My first love!!

                                                              ________&&&_________

Saraswati puja was the only biggest event in our apartment. Other occasions were also celebrated but those were mostly for elders. After 7pm we were not allowed to the complex lawn as elders will take the community Hall to drink 'Royal Stag' with soda. Some will take the badminton court. Some will take the vacant garages to play Bridge, the card game.

Only Chadu da was allowed in their club to serve pakoda and chips. And sometimes Ujjal da was summoned there to play badminton,as he was the best player to compete. Saraswati puja was the only occasion for us. We were at our teens. Two days break from studying was limitless fun. Moreover we were allowed to be at the lawn till 10pm. Saraswati puja of 1997 will remain in my mind as a golden page of life.

20th January 1997

I was flying a kite on the roof. School was off today. A sudden sense of chill ran through my spine as I felt something odd. Someone was staring at me. Most of the time during Viswakarma puja, due to half yearly exams, I was not allowed to fly kites. This time usually sky remains clear and less crowded with other kites. To fill my doubt when I scrutinized. I saw her again. She was at her roof on C block. There were dolls, utensils from 'ranna bati' kit and many other girly staffs with her. 

"Se prothom prem Amar Neelanjana!!!" 

The song of Nachiketa instantly came in my mind and I hummed the tune with a passionate breathe. Her eyes were fixed at my kite. When our eyes met, due to nervousness may be, she ran away. After a while she came back and called me with the best voice in the world... "Ei suncho!"

"Who! Me?"

"Yes! You Know how to fly a kite?" Her voice was the best instrument God has ever crafted.

"I do... Why?"

"May I try it?"

Oh! Thank you God. I am here to offer my heart to her and she came up with such a minor request? I was happy. Overflowing with joy I asked her to come at our block. Then she can fly my kite as long as she wants.

"Thanks" 

Her smile with those glossy lips produced the best appreciation I have ever received. To impress her, I took my kite up to the ultimate height. She was like trembling with the "latai". It was her first time flying a kite. She was smiling like an angel. My ears started to provide a chiming sound from my heart. She was my first love!! It was almost an hour we were together at the roof. It was like we were at the cloud number 9. The call from her mother broke our exploration with the kite and she ran to her apartment in no time. 

                                                           _______&&&&&______

She was wearing a yellow (faded yellow may be) sari and a light green blouse. Her hair was arranged in a perfect manner relevant with the dress. A little black dot just between her brows were the best addition. We were at the mandap of puja. Last night all of our members were engaged in decorations. Awindrila di and Boni di were the best painters in our group. One started to do crafts with colorful papers and another did the alpana with fabric colors. Elders went to bring the idol from Jadavpur. Arnab was busy in arranging the platforms where the idol will be placed. He was wrapping the desks with colorful papers. Ujjal da and me were busy with the lights and the stage. My dream girl didn't appeared at this gathering. 

Around 8:30pm elders came back with the idol. Groceries and vegetables were in the department of Chadu da. With rolls of cheering we took the idol and brought it to our decorated mandap. Now it was time to wrap up the whole project. Final lighting, alpana, and crafts ar now to be placed in order. I was tying up a light at the main entrance when I saw her. She and her father was coming on a Rickshaw. They were carrying an idol and groceries with them. The first strike of doubt hit me well and the shock from the bare wire added some more. I was using the semi broken chair of our door keeper. The electric volts gave me a thrust and the chair also gave up my weight. I ended up landing on the floor thudding. The shock was minor but it was necessary.

They were new to our apartment complex. The initial hesitation to meet with others, is relevant. And we were so busy in our own thoughts that almost forgot to invite them. It was at the beginning when we kids used to go door to door and invite everyone. Now as this was our 5th year puja, invitation was not that much important to us. I was lying flat on the lawn with the shock and its after effects. Ujjal da pulled me up and composing myself I ran to Awindrila di. Though Tinni di was the senior most in the crowd, but Awindrila di was our fuhrer. She was going to appear in her 10+2 exam next year. 

After my appeal, she considered it as an urgency. Summoning the group members she trained us with her unique way of invitation. Awindrila di was expert in such invitations as she was a representative in her school team, and used to go to other schools for inviting. In my school I was in the department of writing the invitation cards. A boring job to sit in the library and write on hand made invitation cards. In our group Arnab was painted with fevicol, and mica dust. I was the most disoriented and messed up lad with chunks of cobweb and dust in my hairs and shirt. Whatever may be the situation she must be invited to this puja. 

Our team reached their flat on time. Awindrila di was the leader so she rang the bell. The name plate on the door was etched with Mr. Pulak Sinha. I hoped if her name was etched there too. The door clicked open and Mr. Pulak Sinha came out,

"Yes?"

"Uncle! We are here to invite you and your family. May we come in?"

Her name was Priyanka. The invitation formalities went well. She was helping her mother in the kitchen. Our presence brought them to the drawing room. My dream girl was there. This is her house. Our eyes met and both of us shared a smile. We were just going to start a conversation with eye contact when suddenly Awindrila di asked her name. 

"Priyanka" the sweetest voice echoed in my rib cage longer than expected and pierced my heart through and through. I was in love. Surely was.

"But we are doing puja at home." Priyanka's mother interrupted.

"That's not an issue aunty. She can join us after your puja is over. And aunty please don't prepare lunch tomorrow. There will be khichuri, sabzi, and sweets as lunch. The whole apartment join this celebration. And next day before the immersion, we have 'dadhikarma' in the morning and special lunch. In the afternoon we play different games at the mandap premises. In the evening there will be performances. All of us will be doing something on stage. Priyanka can join us too in the dance."

Awindrila di was amazing. She can capture anyone's attention towards a simple event. Her dramatical presentation about the puja was mind-blowing. I was feeling attracted too and then realized I am already a part of it.

"She can join us for the Anjali...." Rini and Piya interrupted.

"We are having puja at our home sweetheart... Priyanka will join you later." Aunty defied in her sweetest words. It was time to show up. I added to the conversation

"Well, she can join us during the Anjali after your puja is over? Your own Saraswati will bless you to the full. But in addition our Saraswati can bless you more! Like a free spinner with a pack of Uncle Chips." 

This sudden idea was new to all. But when realized, all of them burst into a laugh. I was lost in her smile. She is the best. And there could be no one beside her. My first love!!

                                                              _____&&&&&___

At around 9am all of us gathered in the mandap. Few of us were there since morning to arrange all things. I was employed in cleaning the utensils and bringing the missed items from the list. Our purohit came around 8am after completing his fixed 'jojman' pujas at homes. Around 9am it was time for Anjali. Rik and my brother Arpan was in the duty to convey the message to everyone. They did well. It took less than 20mins for everyone to gather near the premises.

She was wearing a yellow (faded yellow may be) sari and a light green blouse. The black bindi between her brows was the best addition to her beauty. That's how my wife should be. The weather was descent. Cloudless sky was unrestricted for the sun rays. Everything was glowing with fresh light. But she was different. The kite event was the only reason that made her more comfortable with me. I was already in love with her. So I was blushing, giggling, beaming, whatever adjective is suitable you can place them for me. 

She stood beside me during the Anjali. Both of us took flowers. Whispered the chanting as relayed by our purohit and shared meaningful eye contacts in between. Her presence was so enthralling that I asked maa Saraswati to help me convincing her. Arnab was jealous about such event and invaded our conversation with irrelevant topics. After his repetitive attempts we allowed him in our conversation. He came as a bad omen for me. Priyanka is in an English medium school. I was shattered, finished, broken, disappointed, and whatever adjective suits there.

Being a Bengali medium student, that to a Government one, was really inappropriate to mix with English medium students. Puffs of wind come out of our mouth when chatting starts in English. In our group only Ujjal da and I was from Bengali medium. Arnab knew about my weakness and turned the conversation towards school subjects and in English. Priyanka was two batch Junior than us. Arnab took the conversation in such a way, as if he is the best guide in studies. And Priyanka, my dream girl, my love, my first love was listening to him like Arnab was a prophet and he is giving her the question papers of coming exams.

What a crap! I made an excuse and left the conversation immediately. Plates for lunch was due in the list. Took the money from cashier uncle, Boni Di's father, and went out with my bicycle. May be it's the notion of love. You can feel everything in a special way. You can see every event in a new vision. While buying the required items from Dashakarma I was peering at the couple's. The roads were like crowded with them. Most of them were college students. I was lost in my thoughts imagining Priyanka and me as college students and as couple's. It was dream or what I don't know. As if I have seen her in her yellow sari and green blouse walking by the road. Someone was going with her too. Suddenly the boy with her turned around and I saw Arnab. Shocked as hell I fell from my bicycle.

"You idiot bastard! Are blind or what?" 

Priyanka was scolding me in English. And I was struggling to puff out a word. Then a slap hit my cheek. A powerful one. The dream broke. While riding my bike I have crashed into a stationary auto rickshaw by the road. And the driver was shouting at me. Again a mess! My dream girl is from English medium!! My first love!! Is this going to stay???

                                                             _______&&&&&_______

Composing myself from the mess I packed the items again in order. And then rode back to home. I was expecting Arnab and Priyanka chatting. But Priyanka was no where to be seen. 

Light of Hope!!! My dream girl!....

She didn't came at lunch. Awindrila di told me that she went to her uncle's house to attend the celebration. That's good. Arnab can't take the conversation for now. But in my mind I have decided to take my revenge on the field. I took a bow that now onwards I will never let Arnab score more than 30 if in opponent team. And I will make it sure that on my second over I will take his wicket. First over I will let him score, cause he is my friend. And when in the same team, I will always score more than him. 

Saraswati maa may have heard my wish and blessed me accordingly. The cricket matches in our apartment and 'Oi para' improved my skills in bowling. This lead to my selection in school cricket team. Sports teacher saw a potential player in me and enrolled my name in a good cricket coaching club. 

I have misinterpreted this fortunes as her love effects and got more involved in it. But still there was a distance. She is from English medium and can speak fluent English. 

                                                                   ____&&&&&_____

Post Puja Events:

After the special lunch with Fried rice and chille chicken on the next day of Puja all the residents settled down near the mandap to play housie, a game almost like online lottery. I was crowned with the best luck in the world so since 5 years I was not even able to win more than Rs. 10/-. Usually after 2 or 3 cycles I used to quit. But today was different. Priyanka was with us from morning. We had the Dadhikarma first and then wrote "Om Saraswattoi Namah:" on the bael leaves together. Arnab woke up late today. So it was only Priyanka and me together. No one was interested about us so we have shared a quality time. Even during lunch we sat next to each other. Everything changed during the game. 

At the 3rd round of game I have won only Rs. 5/- from it and lost Rs. 60/-. On the contrary Priyanka was at the top. Beginner's luck!!! She won 3games consecutively with full house and won an amount ten times more than me. I was happy. If we get married then she can win back the Money I have lost in the game. I was about to quit and told Priyanka. I don't know what happened. She gave me a look as if Maa Lakshmi has herself appeared in her and asked me to continue the game. I was saving money for a new cricket bat but instead of great hesitation I pulled it in and with new hope bought tickets. Priyanka gave a smile and asked me to sit beside her. 

Love is pure, love is Devine, love is the best emotion in the whole world. For the first time I won a game with 2 single lines and a full house. Investment returned in double. Now it was time to recover my old loss. Priyanka was beside me. She was helping me to find the numbers on my tickets. On the 5th number call she grabbed my hand in excitement and held it up. 'Fastest five'. The first five called numbers were shining on my ticket. And for the first time she touched my hand. That round went well. She has won a single line and full house. And I have won 2 single lines. By the 6th round of game my loss was recovered with a good amount of profit. I love her. And I was about to tell her. But no cinematic concepts emerged from my cricket field head to convey the message.

After housie we kids went to other place. Adults took the mandap premises for gossip and card games. Girls of our team were planning to play Antakshari and dumb charades. And we boys were planning to conduct a 10 over cricket match with 'Oi para'. It was Priyanka who insisted us to take part in antakshari. Girls can make you do anything. We cancelled the match and took part in the antakshari.

Maa Saraswati has blessed me with the best vocals. Singing was like in my blood running through my veins. To impress Priyanka I took part in the game and was in a team with Arnab and Boni di. My singing was so melodious that those who were learning music felt depression. Boni di was so mad at me that she can choke me to death. But my instant replies with proper songs were asset for the team. It was a tie between our team and Priyanka's. But a difficult letter messed it up. I picked up a correct song but Arnab confused me with the lyrics. And that took the turning point for Priyanka's team. I have cherished my defeat for the first time when I saw her smile. 

                                                          _______&&&&&_____

                                                                             ::2::

6th November, 1998

"Tum paas aye, yun muskuraye... Tum ne na jaane kya, swapne dikhaye.."

The best gift from Bollywood to the lovers came with the wrapping titled as "Kuch kuch hota hai".

It was like a script for every lovers in the world. A little effort to look like Shahrukh Khan was peeping in my mind. I let my hairs grow that I can shape it as SRK's. Priyanka bought a dress like Anjali(Kajol) wearing in the movie. More or less Bollywood movies became a necessity in our life to cherish the relationship. Every day injection of movie sequence was required to fill the heart with unlimited love.

It was like "Are re are yeh Kya hua, koi na yeh Jana....."

I felt my heart as " Dil to pagal hai, Dil deewane hai".

                                                              _____&&&&______

It was Priyanka's Birthday. Her parents were organizing a party to celebrate. Securing a deposit from my pocket money bought a greeting card from Archie's and a set of Pierre Cardin's fountain pen. I was waiting for this evening since I have came to know about her birthday. We all gathered to her house at 6pm and the celebration begun.

After the dinner we all went to the roof.  Priyanka's father has arranged an open theatre for us to watch a movie. A white screen and a projector is the key structure in a movie theater. A hi-fi CD player was also new to me. At night, on the roof we saw the movie "Bicycle thieves". I was overwhelmed by the presentation and acting. But due to my Bengali medium background, I understood nothing. After the movie chocolates were served. I took an eclairs from the jar and stood by the mass, discussing about the film. I felt a little pull on my hand from the back. Priyanka was there just behind me with her charming smile. 

"Well! Thank you for the party Priyanka."

"You didn't like the movie right?"

"I have just seen the movie as I am used to watch Chaplin movies. It was difficult for me to interpret the script. But I liked it."

"Baba bought this CD from Esplanade just for today's event. He didn't realized that such a movie can't be cherished by all. I am sorry."

"Hey! Don't be sorry. I will watch this movie again when I will be good at English."

"I will teach you English! I can help you."

I didn't expected such an offer. This was good, but at the same time it was a little odd for me. If Arnab and others come to know that I am taking English lessons from a junior. They will never leave me without mocking. With a nod I changed the topic to the events of my last birthday party. The last time my birthday party was celebrated on my 10th birthday. Since then there were none. Though I've never felt a need about it. The only best part of it was gifts. But again there is a glitch. You have to throw a party in case you need gifts. Neither it was affordable for my family to celebrate such an occasion, nor I was at all interested in it.

"You are changing the topic!"

"No Priyanka! I will take lessons from you. But promise me. You will keep it as a secret."

She winked and gave a mischievous smile. She came near to me and held my hand firm in her soft palms. Then all of a sudden she rose on her toe and kissed on my right cheek. The first kiss from a girl came all of a sudden. I was in a spellbound state. She winked again and ran away towards the mass.

                                                    _______&&&&______


                                                                     ::3::

My English class at Priyanka coaching center started on a Sunday morning. I was practicing my bowling at the lawn and then she came. I can remember her attire that day. She was wearing a pink color kurta with a green patiwala. A chiffon urni over her shoulders. A kalka like bindi on her forehead and a spec. She was looking like a punjabi kudi.

"Abir! no more practice. Now you better come and study."

That was our plan to initiate the class. She would plan something nice that no one can ever guess that I am going to her for Spoken English classes. The veranda of her flat was the class room. At one side she hung a black board (Kids staff). A mat was placed on the floor. There were Teddy 1, teddy 2, teddy 3, doll 1, barbie 1 and a fat doll sitting. Their names were Jolly, Molly, Polly, Disha, Diya and Priti. Priyanka introduced me with her dolls, my classmates, and started the class.

I must admit her plans were great. Her mother was preparing lunch. She came and saw me in that set up and burst into laugh.

"Now you are the victim of Priya's classroom. Very good! So I can take a leave now. Ha ha!"

Now I get it. This was Priyanka's hobby. She used to arrange such a class and take her mother as a student then. Very well.

"Do you want some drinks beta? Horlicks?"

"Maa! The class is running now. No food or drinks. You should leave now."

I can bet she is going to be a perfect school teacher in her near future. Priyanka's mother apologized to her daughter and left the classroom laughing.

Day 1 in her coaching went well. She has given me a task to increase my vocabulary from the Word books. This continued till the date of disaster.


8th September 1999

Our land lady has sent us a notice to vacant our apartment as she is going to sell it soon. My father did a mistake to try for a Home loan that we can purchase this flat from our land lady. She took our proposal and gave us a month of leverage.

Chaplin stated some where in his book that when fate is against you, no one can stop the mishap. The same day my father got the transfer notice to a different place away from Kolkata. It was difficult for a middle class bong family to solve all such big issues in a smooth pattern. Our destiny was changing. Our land lady became agitated and informed us to leave. I can remember the morning I woke up and saw an unknown person standing near my bed and looking out side the window. I woke up startled and went to our drawing room. The land lady has brought some customers who are going to purchase this flat. My father was sitting at the corner defeated.

I am going to leave. So the plan of being together shattered with just a snap of misfortune. In a hurry my father was unable to search for our new accommodation. Immediately there were no homes for rent near by. So everything turned out to be in a mess. Our furniture was sent to an apartment at tollygaunj. But as there was no room to live or settle we had to leave kolkata and go to our village home.

You plan something and God laughs at it. He is the master planner of this universe. And I was planning here to settle with Priyanka in a Happily ever after life.


                                                     _____&&&&____

6th December 1999

A matador was standing near B block. A family was going to leave this premises after a long 10 years of stay. I saw our very own furniture were on the truck. The door man opened the door wide and the matador left. Next was our turn. A Kali-Pili taxi was standing near by. One by one my family boarded the taxi. We are going to Howrah station. My eyes were searching for the face that I will remember till the last days of my life. Priyanka was nowhere to be seen. She and her family went to Manali for a vacation trip. Our taxi grumbled to life and make its was towards the door. I had no chance to even bid goodbye to Priyanka. A love story got buried there with in the concealed walls of this apartment. My first love, ended there.



                                                       ______&&&_____

6th December 2017

The calendar changed in a fast forward motion and completed my journey from a school boy teenager to an established doctor. But my first love is still as new as then. Standing at the same roof I saw the sun set and cherished those evenings playing in the lawn, flying kites. Memories never get old. I was there with all those buildings same as it was in the past. Renovations have kept its look younger. But for me everything was carrying the same old days.

We can seek our happiness in everything except unsolved problems. The due goodbye was still haunting me. I came here to quench the thirst. To feel those days in a new way in this adult age. The sun set still looks the same as it was before. Pouring my heart with the utmost good memories I reconsidered the facts. Adult mind makes you more rational than emotional. The message of "no hope to see her" was like blinking just before my eyes.

Revisiting every nooks and corners of my oldest residence I came to the lawn. The door keeper was an younger one. No one can recognize me now, though I knew everyone in this flat. Gazing at the flat where we used to live I sighed. Bidding goodbye to Priyanka I moved towards the main entrance. Someone was coming in. Yes! there she is. Blue denim jeans and sea green kurti with a Cathy's leather hand bag. A scurf was wrapped around her neck and she was holding a leather jacket to her left arm. My spoken English teacher,  that sweet little Priyanka is still as beautiful as then. We crossed each other near the gate. She walked past me but could not recognize that bengali medium lad she used to teach. I gasped the final adios to her. The fragrance is still the same one that increased my heart rate then and now. With slow steps I neared to my car and saw the reflection on the glasses. These 18 years not only just changed my course of life but also my appearance.

"Ei suncho!"

Did I heard that correct? Searching for the source of those words i found a couple near the gate. The lady was asking her husband from the balcony.

My car engine revived in agony and the accelerator creaked in the gas chamber to push my thoughts forward. The history was left behind but cars will always give you a chance to look back. My rear view mirrors showed the figure standing at the entrance, looking for something. Blue denim jeans, sea green kurta and the purple hand bag.

That, was my first love!!!!.........